The Ick: Why You Dread Opening That Client’s Account (And What It’s Telling You)

You know the feeling.

You’re about to log into that one client’s account, and something in your stomach turns.

You’re writing copy for a campaign, and the words feel… slimy.

You’re sitting in a strategy meeting pretending the plan makes sense when you know it doesn’t.

This is “The Ick.”

And it’s not burnout. It’s not imposter syndrome. It’s not that you’re “not cut out for marketing.”

The Ick is your values screaming that something is off.

I know because I watched it almost destroy one of our best strategists—and then watched what happened when she finally had the courage to name it.

THE PROBLEM: YOU’RE MARKETING SOMETHING THAT VIOLATES YOUR VALUES (BUT YOU CAN’T NAME WHICH ONE)

Here’s what I witnessed at Disruptive:

One of our strategists—I’ll call her Sally—walked into Jacob’s office and closed the door.

I wasn’t in the room, but I heard about it later. And what happened next changed how I think about values forever.

Sally sat down and said: “Jacob, I hate logging into this account. I feel gross writing the copy. I feel like I need a shower after our weekly sync.”

The client? Our largest account. Seven figures a year. For a company our size, that wasn’t incidental revenue. It was oxygen.

But they wanted countdown timers for deadlines that didn’t exist. They wanted us to target audiences who couldn’t afford the product just to boost click-through rates for a board presentation.

None of it was technically illegal. But all of it felt unethical.

Sally was feeling The Ick. And she was scared to bring it up because she assumed the money mattered more than how we made it.

That assumption was our fault as a leadership team. We hadn’t defined our values in the only way that counts: with action.

So the team filled in the blank the logical way: revenue wins.

THE MIRROR EXERCISE: FINDING THE VALUES YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD

After Jacob fired that client (yes, he actually fired them—more on that in a second), he realized something:

Our values were already living in the company. We just hadn’t named them.

So he did an exercise that I later ran on myself—and now run with every marketing leader I coach.

It’s called The Mirror Exercise. And it changed how I think about my own career.

Here’s how it works:

QUESTION #1: “Name three people who inspire you—alive, dead, or fictional. What qualities do you admire in them?”

Listen carefully. Write down the specific attributes they name.

Courage. Generosity. Relentlessness. Whatever emerges.

Don’t interpret. Capture their exact words.

What this reveals: Your CEO’s aspirational values—the things they believe matter most.

Real example: When I did this for myself, one of my three heroes was Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. Someone who has doubts but goes on the adventure anyway. Instead of running from his fate, he runs toward it.

When I circled the traits that appeared across all three of my heroes, the pattern was obvious: courage, stewardship, and showing up even when you’re scared.

Those are my values. I didn’t need anyone to interpret them for me.

QUESTION #2: “Name someone who really pushes your buttons. What is it about them that bothers you?”

This reveals the anti-values—the behaviors they can’t tolerate.

If they say “I can’t stand people who take credit for other people’s work,” they value fairness.

If they say “I hate when people won’t commit,” they value decisiveness.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: We can only see in others what exists in ourselves.

The qualities we admire are the ones we hold. The qualities that irritate us reveal where we’ve slipped below our own standards without noticing.

Real example: Jacob gets furious when people promise features that don’t exist just to close a deal. That revealed his value: integrity over revenue.

QUESTION #3: “When was the last time you wanted to fire a client, end a partnership, or lose your temper at work? What was violated?”

Anger is a boundary signal.

If a client screaming about a typo at 9 PM makes them furious, the company values respect.

If a sales rep closing shady deals makes them livid, the company values integrity.

Go through the history together. Identify the top 5 pain points. Name what was stepped on each time.

Those are the company’s real values.

Real example: When Sally walked into Jacob’s office, she was testing whether we actually valued doing work we’re proud of or just making money.

Jacob’s decision to fire that seven-figure client became the receipt that proved the value was real.

THE COST TEST: DOES YOUR VALUE HAVE A RECEIPT?

Once you’ve surfaced values through the Mirror Exercise, you need to test them.

For each value, ask: “Has this company ever lost money, a customer, or a hire to uphold this value?”

If yes: You’ve found a real value. It has a receipt.

If no: You’ve found an aspiration. It hasn’t been tested yet.

Examples:

• The company says it values innovation. Has it ever fired a steady performer who hits their numbers but refuses to try anything new? If not, it values stability more than innovation.
• The company says it values quality. Has it ever missed a deadline rather than ship something broken? If not, it values speed more than quality.
• The company says it values people. Has it ever lost a profitable customer because that customer treated employees badly? If not, it values revenue more than people.

This isn’t a gotcha. It’s clarity.

If a value hasn’t cost you something, it’s not a value yet. It’s a preference.

WHAT I WATCHED HAPPEN AFTER JACOB FIRED THE CLIENT

Jacob fired that seven-figure client.

I don’t know if he slept well that night. But I know he had payroll to make. Employees counting on him. A family counting on him.

What I do know is what happened over the next few months:

• The team came in ignited. The Ick was gone.
• Energy that had been spent tolerating the bad client was redirected to other accounts.
• Results for other clients climbed.
• People started pushing back on bad ideas in meetings because they’d seen it was safe to do so.

The million-dollar hole in the P&L became the most persuasive internal communication Jacob ever produced.

I watched it happen in real time. When Jacob told someone “We don’t do work we’re ashamed of,” they didn’t nod politely. They believed him. Because they were there.

That’s when I understood: A value isn’t real until it has a receipt.

TAKE THIS AND USE IT MONDAY

🎯 If you’re a Marketing Leader:

1. Run the Mirror Exercise on yourself first. Who inspires you? Who drives you crazy? What does that tell you about your values?
2. Schedule 30 minutes with your CEO. Say: “I want to make sure our marketing reflects our actual values, not just aspirational ones. Can we do a quick exercise together?”
3. Ask the 3 Mirror Questions:
   • Who inspires you? What do you admire about them?
   • Who pushes your buttons? What bothers you about them?
   • When did you last want to fire a client? What was violated?
4. Run the Cost Test. For each value that surfaces, ask: “Has this ever cost us money, a client, or a hire?” If no, it’s aspirational—don’t build campaigns around it yet.

📊 If you’re a CEO:

1. When your marketing leader asks for this conversation, say yes. This isn’t touchy-feely. This is strategic.
2. Be honest about the receipts. If a value hasn’t been tested, admit it. That’s not weakness—it’s clarity.
3. Make a decision that creates a receipt. The next time a value is tested, act on it. Your team is watching.

💾 SAVE THIS POST – You’ll use the Mirror Exercise every time you rebrand or hire a senior leader.

WHAT THIS TEACHES YOU ABOUT THE ICK

If you’re feeling The Ick right now, it’s not a character flaw.

It’s a signal that one of your values is being violated.

Your job is to:

1. Name the value. Use the Mirror Exercise to figure out what it is.
2. Check for alignment. Does this value match your CEO’s values? Does the company have a receipt for it?
3. Make a choice. Surface the gap. Force the test. Or recognize this isn’t your room and find one where your values align.

You can tolerate a lot of things. But you can’t do great work in a place that violates your values every day.

The marketers I’ve seen do extraordinary things weren’t the most talented. They were the ones who found the right room.

ONE FINAL THING

Sally—the strategist who walked into Jacob’s office—had no power. No guarantee he’d listen. She didn’t know if naming The Ick would get her thanked or managed out.

She just knew something was wrong and decided silence was worse than the risk.

I watched her do that. And it took more courage than anything I’ve ever done in my career.

If you’re feeling The Ick right now, you’re not weak. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re not “not cut out for this.”

You’re a marketer with values. And that’s exactly what great marketing needs.

The question is: Are you in a room that honors them?

Or do you need to be the one who walks into the office, closes the door, and names what’s broken?